Let’s just stop and take a second and think about all the stay at home mums and what we to go through. Here is a SMALL list of what us stay at mothers go through on a daily basis.
Stay at home mother (SAHM)
The elephant in the room that nobody talks about. I mean, how dare you complain after being gifted this opportunity to stay at home and raise your kids right? WRONG! It’s really not that simple. Of course we stay at home mothers are grateful to stay home and raise our young, but sometimes it feels that this is literally all that we have become.
No one talks about the isolation.
No one talks about the loss of identity.
No one talks about the loneliness.
No one talks about losing your sense of self.
No one talks about the sacrifices that you had to make to be a stay at home mum.
No one talks about how you gave up your career.
No one talks about how you cry in the shower because your day was overwhelming.
No one understands why you’re tired.
No one understands why you’re irritable.
No one understands why you need a mental break.
No one understands why you’re so irritated with your kids.
No one understands why after you’ve been home all day, the house is still a wreck.
No one understands why you just need 5 minutes with no one speaking to or touching you.
No one understands why you’ve lost your sex drive.
No one understands why you’re completely & utterly exhausted. After all, ” you just sit at home all day “
Most of us were working women at one point. We once had the privilege to go to work and interact with other adults outside of our home. We contributed financially to our household.
Shoot, most of us want some kind of side hustle or part-time job because it would sure help with financial relief.
We once didn’t feel like an endless maid. We got that break away even though yes, work is a love/ hate relationship that gives you space from the people you live with (children, spouse… Etc) because EVERY relationship needs time away in order to maintain your sanity from being around each other 24/7.
That’s not healthy. Contrary to popular belief…
I can’t tell you how many women I have met or know that say
“oh, you have too much time on your hands” “I sure wish I could stay home, I wouldn’t complain.”
Well good for you Sheryl! I can guarantee that if you had children you would change your mind within 6 months in of being a new mother, unless of course you’re wealthy and have money to constantly go out and do things with and without your children.
But some of us do not have this privilege Sheryl. Some of us choose to stay at home, some of us don’t have a choice. Some of us choose to work and some of us don’t have a choice. No matter the situation, who are you you to judge?
I wished upon a damn star that I could stay at home with my kids because I wanted to spend all the time I could with them. Back then, I didn’t realize all that came along with being a stay at home mother.
“Oh but you chose to have those kids. You should have thought about that before having them. If you didn’t want to go through all this You should have never have had kids & didn’t you say that you want more kids one day?”
Seriously…. Yup, heard all of these dismissive and ignorant comments before! Us stay at home mothers work our butts off just as much as the courageous working mother. And whilst majority of mothers complain about the pure exhaustion and frustration that come along with being a parent, NO, we do not regret our kids!
So next time Sheryl, when you hear or see a stay at home mother venting her frustrations, remind yourself that words hurt. Listen to her and make her feel like she is somebody. Do not dismiss her feelings simply because she chose to be a mother. Let her know that her struggles are not invalid just because she doesn’t have a “real job” Because being a parent is 24/7, it’s the hardest job is the world Sheryl. It’s the hardest job in the world whether a mother is working or not!
So show your mother friends some god damn respect.